The worst phrases I've heard as a web developer

When you're a developer, especially a freelance one, you may find yourself working with all kinds of clients: some know their subject very well, others know the technical side very well while others... know neither one nor the other.

This leads to requests so far-fetched that I'd advise you to hold your meetings sitting down to avoid falling over backwards!

"Set the employee number as the default password for each user"

Let's start with a champion, because this isn't just a simple request for some exotic feature, but it truly is a client request to open a magnificent security hole in the application.

Default passwords are already not great security practice as it is, but if the default password is non-confidential information that all users can access, it's even worse.

A piece of advice: If your client insists on making you build a feature that introduces a risk into the application, have them sign a waiver to release you from any responsibility!

"What's an SMTP server?"

This sentence might not be one of the worst, since most people outside of IT don't necessarily know what an SMTP server is.

Except that, in my case, it came out of the mouth of a project lead specialized in managing IT projects at a CAC40 company.

Lack of vocabulary or genuine incompetence? It's sometimes hard to tell, but when these companies handle millions of euros, it's sometimes scary...

"How long would it take you to remake YouTube?"

Now this is a work of art. The art of asking for the impossible, or rather the art of not knowing how to properly explain one's needs.

In the startup world, I've often heard other entrepreneurs wanting to build the "Uber of ..." or the "Facebook of ...", and even though this description remains highly questionable, it has the advantage of quickly making your listener understand the overall vision of the project.

But approaching a developer with a sentence like that, you risk making them run away at the Herculean nature of the task.

Describe your project precisely, without the usual marketing fluff. If all you want is a video hosting platform with a custom player, don't ask for a Youtube clone.

"If I click this button (logout), it takes me back to the login screen, is that normal?"

Here we are in the presence of a perfect specimen of cro-magnon man, a true stereotypical user in the world of development.

Their use of the app will consist of pressing every button in the application, without much thought about the consequences and with no logic whatsoever. And this particular specimen was special because they were proud to announce to me that they had found a "bug".

When actually, no, it was just a logout button!

"Can we add a password when logging out?"

After deploying an application on tablets provided at an event, my client noticed that all the users were bewitched by the logout button.

Throughout the entire session, users kept logging out non-stop, until we actually put in place a "logout" password.

The method was surprising, but my client knew their audience very well, and their solution was the right one!